Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I Love....You

Ah - Valentine's Day. For some - this day holds anticipation, joy, glee (insert your own adjective here) while for others - it's a commercialized event that retailers worldwide have been licking their chops in a fervored frenzy over the past couple of months. As a wedding planner - I see many people getting engaged on this very day. Just think... dinner, a movie - AND a brand new diamond engagement ring! Then - it's off to the races, jumping into the fray we call the planning of a nuptial celebration.

But - can I put the brakes on things for just a minute???? In the midst of the fever that is Valentine's Day....with all it's accompanying glory, who stops to think about the notion of LOVE? Not the kind that Hallmark says, not the kind that DeBeer's touts, and definitely not the kind that comes courtesy of The kind of LOVE that I'm talking about - comes from within.

Through my years as a wedding consultant - and just through life period, I've noticed one common thread that makes for a great relationship. And while it has a lot to do with that ubiquitous word called "love", it's more about how each individual views themselves. It's all fine, well and good to wax poetic about the glorious feeling that you get when you are caught up in the emotion of being "in love", but to really give it all you've got - I think you have to be in love with yourself - FIRST.

In my extremely humble opinion - you can't profess undying love to someone else until you know for a fact that you are in love - with you. It's not about being conceited or narcissistic - it's about understanding just how important you are, it's about grasping the straw that is your emotion and knowing how it works - for you. Managing a relationship is arduous at best, but if you don't know who you are, how you "tick, what makes you glorious - trying to maintain a good, healthy love connection may prove to be difficult.

I see so many people over the course of a year - who come to me because they want my help in saying "I Do". My best advice to everyone - before you make that committment to someone else, be clear on your committment to self. See - when you love yourself, with all your shortcoming, failings, accomplishments and rewards, it makes the difficult task of being responsible enough to love someone else - a bit easier. When you are able to look in the mirror every day and say "I love you" and know that the response back will be "I love you, too" - then you're on the right track to developing and sustaining a wonderful relationship with a partner.
The ability to intrinsically love - well, it's amazing how deep your capacity to love others becomes.

So, go ahead.....look in the mirror and profess your undying love - for you.

Happy Valentine's Day :)


Charlene Eaton said...

I can't believe how dead on this is - and what a refreshing read on a day that usually focuses on couples.

It saddens me whenever I hear a woman apologizing for justifying something she said about herself that was nice. It is usally followed up with "But I am not selfish or anything".

It will be a happy day when I hear more people say "I am my own best company."

Keep spreading this one around - it's a keeper!

- Charlene

Nicole Johnson said...

This is very true. I have a close friend that truly needs to hear this right about now! There are so many woman (and Men) who marry for other reasons besides love! And I think the reason being is exactly what you said. They do not know true love only because they have yet to completely except and love themselves. It takes time and experience to come these sort of realizations for some.. for many! Anyway the Blog!